In Defense of the Bikini

It’s summertime, which means that in Christian circles, there’s a lot of talk about one-piece swimsuits vs. bikinis. There’s a lot of talk about “modesty”. At some point this summer, the Wednesday night youth group separated the girls from the boys and they each had their lectures: Girls, cover up. Boys, don’t look at the girls.

In their own way, parts of Christian culture have sexualized and objectified girls as much as secular culture has. Both cultures view women’s bodies as sex objects. The only difference is that while one culture shamelessly drools over them, the other fears them and frantically scrambles to hide them from view. Both approaches are wrong. We all know what is wrong with that first one. But what about the second? By continuously telling women and girls to cover themselves or else the men will lust, you are telling them that their body is mainly a sex object that needs to be hidden from men. And by telling them that their bodies need to be hidden from men (especially when you tell them that they are a “stumbling block” and that they are “causing their brothers to sin”), you are implying that their bodies are bad—even sinful. What is that teaching young girls? I can tell you from personal experience that it is frightening, confusing, and guilt-inducing to be told as a young girl that your existence is the cause of someone else’s sin. This view teaches women and girls to hide. To be ashamed.

As an adolescent girl I had a deep desire to please God (contrary to popular belief at the time), and through this kind of teaching I came to assume that God wanted me to hide my body, and that if I didn’t, I was an ungodly girl. I spent most of puberty with my arms crossed over my chest in attempt to hide the development of my evil breasts. As a naturally busty girl, I was faced with a specific problem: nothing looked “modest” on me. I was told in one particular youth group meeting that if a shirt stretched at all across the bust, it was too tight and thus immodest. But with my body type, unless I wore one of my brother’s baggy band t-shirts, everything stretched at least a little. My unruly breasts swelled uncontrollably underneath every outfit I wore. I simply couldn’t hide or reduce them, no matter how hard I tried. This made Sundays very embarrassing for me. I felt like every man in church was staring at my breasts, and every woman was judging me for not hiding them better. I felt like the floozy of the church. It wasn’t until I was a little older that I started realizing a couple of things that were very freeing. I’m definitely not the first to realize or write about these things, but I’ll help pass on the freedom.

1. God made my (and every woman’s) body on purpose. We are made in His image, we are molded by His hands. Our bodies are made to be rejoiced in, not feared and hidden. I can be proud of my curvy woman’s body that God designed. I realized that, as long as my attire is inoffensive and appropriate for the occasion, I could stop bending over backwards to disguise my form and hide my skin. I could stop measuring inches of fabric and pulling up the necklines of all my clothes. I could stop worrying constantly about whether that bit of cleavage that showed when I bent over was causing some man to lust. Because…

2. A man’s lust is not my problem. He is responsible for his thoughts, not me. The only thing I am responsible for is being socially appropriate in the attire I choose. Men are capable of self-control. They are not drooling cavemen, floundering in a lustful puddle that grows deeper with every half-inch of skin I show. Men are not helpless against lust. They can control it, curb it, and take responsibility for which thoughts they choose to let their minds dwell on and whether or not they objectify women in their thoughts. Because that is what lust really is—feasting in one’s mind on the sexual objectification of a fellow human being. “Lust” does not mean attraction or even sexual arousal. Those are natural responses that our bodies and minds were designed to generate. Lust is dwelling disrespectfully on the sexual aspects of a person while forgetting that they are a human being with depth and thoughts and feelings; lust is when a person exists in your mind for nothing more than your sexual gratification (or when a married person mentally indulges in desire for someone other than their spouse). A man can control his lustful thoughts. He is responsible for himself and his sin or lack thereof. This is not my burden to bear; I carry enough of my own.

3. I realized that true “modesty” is an attitude, not an outfit. Humble grace and freedom of God-given personality; no striving for attention, no putting on airs. Real modesty has nothing to do with how much skin is showing.

Ultimately, I want to enjoy my body, how it looks and how it feels; how I feel in it. What makes me feel free? What makes me feel beautiful? I’m not saying that we should all go to church dressed like strippers, or to a funeral wearing booty shorts, with the excuse that “it makes me feel pretty”; I’ve mentioned multiple times that attire needs to be appropriate to the social setting. But by restricting myself to certain clothing in order to hide my body from the gazes of men, I’m treating myself more like a sex object than if I would be if I simply chose something that was both self-expressive and occasion-appropriate, like a bikini at the beach.

(That’s not to say that everyone should wear bikinis. If you are uncomfortable wearing one, by all means, don’t; that would be the opposite of living freely and expressing your God-given personality. But realize that those of us who do decide to don a bikini come summertime are not worldly or sinful or causing others to sin, or desperately flaunting our bodies for attention. No doubt some girls have that motive, but not all of us. Some of us are just living freely, unburdened by inflated teachings about “modesty” and “lust”, and misplaced blame and responsibility).